@ohBananaJoe You are helping by being so open.

I've been most of the time struggling for the last 16 months now and can't be that open yet. I'm trying to take care of myself by journaling and some tricks, but I know that this won't be enough in the long run. This is why I'm looking for professional help with therapy.

Maybe someday I can write something about this more publicly, but until then please know that reading about your way is very helpful and uplifting.